Our World Revisited: The Millionth I Love You

                      For anyone who has ever experienced the compulsion to express their feelings, to give words to their emotions and to dare say the words "I love you", you also know the trauma that leads up to and follows these moments. In fact its scientifically proven that when an individual says these words out of what they truly are feeling their body experiences a series of drastic changes that cause physical reactions such as sweating, nausea, nervousness, tension, and a rapid change in thought patterns and frequency! However, for some people these changes are reversed, making them feel calm and relaxed where their thoughts are perfectly aligned and they are able to express their feelings with ease. Why is this so? To approach this question one must remember that every person is the way that they are now because of their experiences, encounters, behavior patterns, choices, and interactions. No one is a born a certain way. We are all products of what we are exposed to from our first day on Earth to our last. Some experience an abundance of expression where liberties are encouraged or expected. However there are others who experience the lack there of. Quite naturally it would be more difficult for this person to express such powerful feelings because they are not accustomed to the reaction and responses of others, neither the anticipation of their own feelings. In no way does it mean that either individual is more capable of experiencing love. It only means that one is more capable of expressing this love than the other would be.

                                With this being understood, have you ever encountered a person who says "I love you" impulsively and at any whim? This is due to the pleasant connotations of love rather than the actual meaning of love. These connotations are produced based upon outside deciding factors like locations, circumstances, social status, culture, and even dialect. What about the person who is afraid to say "I love you", who says it compulsively? Whether it is perceived or unperceived, this person has associated different connotations with love than the impulsive lover. One could argue that this person, unlike the impulsive lover is afraid to say or give thought to saying such words as "I love you" because he or she gives more responsibility to those words and therefore they are more valuable in this sense. Consider this story:

                     Robert and Leanne invited some friends out for dinner at a new restaurant that had just opened up in town that week. "I'm so excited!" Leanne announced once she'd gotten into Roberts car. "I'm excited to dear! I love you!" Robert said leaning in for a kiss. Leanne kissed him and said "I love you too!" As they pulled off Leanne felt warm and loved. The two had been dating for some three years and Leanne was sure she had found her true love for he'd said he loved her whenever he could and as often as he could. She loved this about him. He was so open and direct with his feelings and was unafraid to say he loved her. The two pulled up in front of Kevin and Susan's apartment complex. It was going to be a double date seeing as though Kevin was always working and barely had time to take Susan out or socialize with their circle of friends as much. This had been a problem for Susan for a long time now and she had been thinking of quietly ending their relationship of 3 years and finding someone who was more affectionate...perhaps like Robert. "Hey everyone" Kevin said getting into the car. Susan got in on her side and slammed the door shut behind her. "Hey" she winced. While driving a song that Robert and Leanne new so well came on the radio and Leanne turned it up. As she did this Robert leaned in to kiss her, taking his eyes off of the road for a split second. Suddenly there was a loud horn and an extremely bright light coming towards them! Robert tried to swerve over into a ditch but the eighteen wheeler collided with the car before he had a chance to. Inside the car there was silence, however no one was killed. Robert, having seen so many movies in his lifetime where cars exploded, desperately tore away at his seat belt. "Are you okay, honey?" Leanne asked in pain. "We've got to get out of here!" Robert screamed. Leanne reached a bloody hand over to grab him but he pulled away at the seat belt and when feeling her hand brushed it off of him aggressively. "Lemme out of here!" he screamed and Leanne grew afraid. In the back seat Susan was passing in and out of consciousness. She heard Robert screaming and pounding away at everything around him in desperation. She heard Leanne crying helplessly. She heard Kevin's groaning and her own shallow breathing. Then she felt a familiar hand grasp her own. It was Kevin's hand. "I love you" he whispered between heavy breaths. It was the first time he'd said this to Susan in months but somehow she knew he meant it and was glad he was different from Robert after all. For Robert, he'd said his millionth "I love you" but Kevin's "I love you" felt like one in a million.

Our World Revisited: Do Double standards Between Men in Women in the Workplace Still Exist?

                                         The existence or non-existence between men and women at work has been around for decades, even more so in the 1960s, and has been studied among socialists, psychologists, and diversity analyst, and surprisingly young adults as to what the evidence is as well as possible reasons why they exist and the conclusions made pertaining to such existence. Some would even doubt the existence of double standards between men and women in the workplace and that the genders have evolved into one entity due to changing factors in society that allow more equality as far as opportunities and pay would go. Yet and still the majority would beg to differ and would even say that double standards between genders have reached a new level that has changed the way the thought of double standards are viewed, making it easier to accept and maintain in a casual and less prevalent sense.
                       Perspectives that readily suggest that the idea of double standards still exist between working men and women brings to the table the idea that women and men think and communicate differently, thus creating the perception of there being a double standard. According to associate professor of psychology at Wellesley College and author of various Harvard Business case studies, articles, and books, Linda L. Carli suggests that when communicating men promote the austerity of dominance and assertiveness which are characteristics of power and authority. This is even done by facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, choice of words, and rapport. Its suggested that women, however, are prone to communicating less assertively in tone of voice, body language, choice, of words, and rapport. This would include encouraging responses and welcoming rapport while leaving room for contradiction from the other party. For example most men are less likely to use words such as "um", "maybe", "I guess", and "I'm not sure", or "most likely"  at work while these words are often chosen by women to build or continue conversation and/or responses.  Carli also implies that men pay less attention to factors that do not support their thoughts or intentions at the moment while women consider all factors, paying close attention to expressions, tones, eye paths, sounds, and underlying statements when generally this is not hidden from but is given less importance to by men. This is why women are more efficient in remembering events, situations, and circumstances while men are more likely to forget them. These key differences in male and female communication could be seen as a legitimate cause and effect of the existence of double standards between genders at work even today. It even goes on to suggest that these double standards have taken a new, and more modern-age form which allows its existence in a casual but evident sense.
                  Who could possibly go against such an age-old issue and prevalent belief. Perhaps a younger generation. It was a welcoming surprise after much research that supports the idea of double standards that a survey taken by a pool of high school students proved to be, on the majority's side, contrary to popular thought and belief. According to the survey, the students argued the fact that more well known companies are owned or managed by women, that the media has begun to portray women as successful business and career leaders versus how they were portrayed in the 1960s, and that many important laws were enacted to ensure gender equality in the work place. They even argued that parental roles and career paths have reversed between genders today.
                 When considering these perspectives there is a detail that plays an important part in this topic and its age. In part, who is better at determining the existence of a social theory, belief, or issue? Is it the older generation who has the firm expertise in the working world or is it the younger generation which includes high school students and graduates alike who have less experience in the working world but holds a firm grip on current events and social issues, being that they are directly affected by them? Is the fruit more perceptive at its core?

Our World Revisited: Super Hero Crock!

                                         Lets just jump right in here. Super heroes don't exist! Yes we loved them as children and we still love feeding into the humor of their possibly being a human with super-human abilities that dresses up in costumes and saves the world from evil and potential danger. We love feeding this crock to our children along with other misleading conceptions that form negative thinking patterns inside their minds at an early age. As harmless as it may seem to let your child believe in these media-bred personalities and characters, the effects of it is seen when the toys are put away and your child is now an adult who has low self-esteem and a poor self image. You will be surprised to find that there are many successful and seemingly established adults who walk around with low self-esteem and a poor self image that they've learned to cope and rationalize very well, even to the point where it becomes hidden from others and even themselves so that they are able to lead a good life. Anything that you once believed in does not magically disappear. These beliefs become irrelevant in your conscious mind as you become and adult (because adults don't believe in superheroes....hopefully) and so they are stored in the subconscious mind which dictates 99.9% of your daily actions. Your conscious mind will never be able to override your subconscious mind. If so there would be no need for psychologists. So you see the problem? When an adult finds himself thinking and feeling a certain way about himself its because if the thoughts that have accumulated in his subconscious mind. If you made the connection between unrealistic beauty and princesses as a child, it would not help for you to pick up a magazine or flick on the television and see seemingly "perfect" models, even if you feel you could go for one of them because at the slightest evidence that you may not be able to then your self esteem will plummet and so will your self image. This is not healthy. Nothing should be able to have this type of control over you. The same happens with people who once believed in superheroes as a child. As a child these beliefs get stored in your subconscious mind and inadvertently cause you to feel a certain way about yourself. As you get older the media takes the place of these childhood beliefs and re-establishes them or confirms them in order to make money, for if you felt you were perfect would you look at magazines that tell you that you aren't? Would you spend money on a new wardrobe if you believed you were perfect without one? And most importantly if you once believed that there are humans that are "super" out there then this may subconsciously result in an inferiority complex and as a result, a poor self-image.
                                            Super hero crock tells the subconscious mind that people can have qualities you can't have. The conscious mind sees a superhero. The subconscious mind sees something you cannot do because you don't have super-human qualities. Dangerous! No one has super human qualities! This is why you find some people who are overly self-conscious, depressed for an unknown reason in the present moment, or a suffering from insecurities. Even anxiety can result from this type of belief because you will subconsciously feel like you're not measuring up or that you're not doing enough, causing you to feel anxious or panicky for no real reason at all.
                                             Another thought super hero crock tells the subconscious mind is that humans are helpless creatures who constantly need protecting. Under this belief children always look up to super heroes and its part of the fun mysticism of being a child. However these beliefs, once you are an adult (and no longer believe in super heroes anymore) get stored in your subconscious mind and gives way to elusive feelings of helplessness or the thought that you must be saved or protected. The problem here is that you are the person who can save you! You are the only person who can truly help you, but with this belief causing stinky fumes in your subconscious mind you will most likely relinquish when it comes to taking initiative and become helpless for no apparent reason. Depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance in your hormones...its caused by a mental imbalance in terms of thinking.
                                         So what am I to do, you say? If you find yourself in any of these situations caused by the stored thoughts in your subconscious mind then you must immediately form contradicting thoughts to the ones inside your subconscious mind. How do you do this? Look around you! Observe everything and everyone around you and assume you know nothing more than what you see. Humans are humans once you stop looking through the lens of your insecurities and preconceived thoughts of inferiority. There are no super heroes around you! We are all the same and whatever I can do is your capability as well. Instead of trusting in your thoughts observe everything around you. You  will see mistakes, mishaps, flukes, imperfections, and your subconscious thoughts in super hero crock will weaken into non-existence. When this happens you will no longer feel helpless. In fact, you will feel like a super hero!

Our World Revisited: Love Uncomplicated

                              As you begin your day, thinking of all that must be done and all that has already been done, all that you want to do, and all that you wish not to do, it is easy for life to become a rat race, pushing you in the direction of the flow of traffic, making sure things keep going as it should, like the hands of a clock, life keeps going. There is time for thinking. There is time for feelings and emotions, desires and dreams, there is time for wonder and exploration, but this is minimal. Society builds itself off of this fact, that its common to speed through a day, popular to rush past the beauty of life in a hurry to reach an unknown yet overrated destination. Where are you going? This is the question that love asks each and every one of us day after day...but we ignore it for the voice of the media, for the voices of doubt and unbelief, for anything thats moving faster than its thinking. Forgetting is common as you rush through your daily routine but love is the purpose of all that is...this should never be forgotten, by-passed, or ignored...for once it is you must face the question of, "What am I living for?"
                                          When can love be contradicted or called into question, determined as untrue, or deemed unsufficient? The answer is never. There is nothing that exists on Earth that was not a product of love...however if there is a choice, it is natural for humanity to reject the things that sustain them, just look at the decay of the environment and the natural world around us. The things we need we reject, as if somehow we created them, as if we help them to survive. Love is one of the most complicated entities to humanity because of the mere fact that we cannot control it, bottle it, manufacture it, sell it, or do away with it. This causes us to become frustrated with love, frustrated with nature, frustrated with life, and all the things we cannot predict or make with our own hands. How selfish can we be to deprive ourselves of something we cannot live without? Are we not alive? When love is complicated, so is the progression of our world. Its like watching yourself sink into a pit when you have the ability to crawl out of it and be safe.
                                        Among the many answers right under our noses, love can become uncomplicated by three methods of approaching life. These methods are forgiveness, acceptance, and humility. Afterall, it is rather hard to complicate love when you are constantly accepting the circumstances in which it brings you, always forgiving the people it places in your life, and always being humble enough to know you need it to survive. Stop. Think. Do not live your life as a loveless robot. It would be a pity to have life pass you by while you're searching so desperately for it. This is the thing that life will not tell you...one of the things it chooses to reveal to you after all is said and done...or after you read this blog post..

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Our World Revisited: Less Than Meets The Eye

                   Have you ever noticed that problems and unwanted circumstance seem to take center stage, stealing attention and focus from the good things that are happening all around us? Problems and conflicts are rude. They are loud and they're boisterous, demanding our time, mind space, and money. Though it is our human nature to magnify that which demands immediate attention in our lives, this is not always a good idea seeing as though problems that are magnified are not solved as a result of its magnification. They still remain problems and now appear bigger than they really are because you magnified them. Shining light on problems will only bring insight if you fully understand what needs to be done to fix or eliminate that problem. Its like buying tools to fix something you do not know how to fix. In the end you waste time and energy flustering over the problem and no real progress has been made, just a lot of headaches, worrying and less observation on what is working in your life. Sometimes we must realize that just as there is more than meets the eye, there is also less than meets the eye as well. In fact 90% of the problems one has is due to the magnification of a smaller problem, causing this one problem to develop into many problems, particularly health issues due to worry and depression. Where there is less, magnification makes more. Chances are the problem or conflict is less than how its appearing to be to you for we as humans are naturally prone to collecting facts and putting them together to form a conclusion and this conclusion is always magnified if its not in our best interest or is not what we prefer to have exist.
                                         You may be thinking that seeing a situation or circumstance as less than what it appears to be is a lot like being in denial however there is a distinct difference between the two! Denial takes place when one is clearly aware of a fact but denies its existence. Denying that something exists is not the same as denying its impact on your life, for we are not able to decide whether something exists or not (it will exist whether we acknowledge it or not), however we can decide how we see that existence, what it means to us, and how it affects our lives. In life there are crucial balances between knowing what we have control over and what we do not....but that's a whole other topic! When you understand these balances, the magnification of problems and conflicts in your life will seem irrational and illogical, thus eliminating the factors that could have branched off from the one problem you saw as more than what it really was. Examples of these problems could be anything. Many people magnify their financial problems, marital conflicts, social dilemmas, and even health issues. You may have bills that must be payed  however the magnification of this fact does not pay any of them. Having a disagreement with a spouse is common however the magnification of what makes the two of you disagree causes more disagreements. Everyone encounters a social dilemma at some point in their lives but highlighting this fact only decreases your chances of associating with someone who may be able to help you out of the dilemma. Not to mention all of the people who go to the doctor to shine light on what they believe is a health issue and leave with 10 different diagnostics and  medications that each create their own health issue. So now what was once a common cold and could cured with a bit of lemon and honey is now many other issues. In conclusion, consider love. A conflict can seem  overwhelming in our eyes, so large and encompassing of all other beliefs and what we were once sure of. However, all can be reestablished, reconciled, and recompensed with the tiniest acknowledgement of loves presence. Then we see that what once mattered so much, matters less if at all. Like the magnification of a bonsai tree can make a miniature scenery look so real, life's challenges can appear so real until we take a step back and see that it was less than meets the eye.

Olivia Marie Jones Articles also found at ABlog Directories

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