For anyone who has ever experienced the compulsion to express their feelings, to give words to their emotions and to dare say the words "I love you", you also know the trauma that leads up to and follows these moments. In fact its scientifically proven that when an individual says these words out of what they truly are feeling their body experiences a series of drastic changes that cause physical reactions such as sweating, nausea, nervousness, tension, and a rapid change in thought patterns and frequency! However, for some people these changes are reversed, making them feel calm and relaxed where their thoughts are perfectly aligned and they are able to express their feelings with ease. Why is this so? To approach this question one must remember that every person is the way that they are now because of their experiences, encounters, behavior patterns, choices, and interactions. No one is a born a certain way. We are all products of what we are exposed to from our first day on Earth to our last. Some experience an abundance of expression where liberties are encouraged or expected. However there are others who experience the lack there of. Quite naturally it would be more difficult for this person to express such powerful feelings because they are not accustomed to the reaction and responses of others, neither the anticipation of their own feelings. In no way does it mean that either individual is more capable of experiencing love. It only means that one is more capable of expressing this love than the other would be.
With this being understood, have you ever encountered a person who says "I love you" impulsively and at any whim? This is due to the pleasant connotations of love rather than the actual meaning of love. These connotations are produced based upon outside deciding factors like locations, circumstances, social status, culture, and even dialect. What about the person who is afraid to say "I love you", who says it compulsively? Whether it is perceived or unperceived, this person has associated different connotations with love than the impulsive lover. One could argue that this person, unlike the impulsive lover is afraid to say or give thought to saying such words as "I love you" because he or she gives more responsibility to those words and therefore they are more valuable in this sense. Consider this story:
Robert and Leanne invited some friends out for dinner at a new restaurant that had just opened up in town that week. "I'm so excited!" Leanne announced once she'd gotten into Roberts car. "I'm excited to dear! I love you!" Robert said leaning in for a kiss. Leanne kissed him and said "I love you too!" As they pulled off Leanne felt warm and loved. The two had been dating for some three years and Leanne was sure she had found her true love for he'd said he loved her whenever he could and as often as he could. She loved this about him. He was so open and direct with his feelings and was unafraid to say he loved her. The two pulled up in front of Kevin and Susan's apartment complex. It was going to be a double date seeing as though Kevin was always working and barely had time to take Susan out or socialize with their circle of friends as much. This had been a problem for Susan for a long time now and she had been thinking of quietly ending their relationship of 3 years and finding someone who was more affectionate...perhaps like Robert. "Hey everyone" Kevin said getting into the car. Susan got in on her side and slammed the door shut behind her. "Hey" she winced. While driving a song that Robert and Leanne new so well came on the radio and Leanne turned it up. As she did this Robert leaned in to kiss her, taking his eyes off of the road for a split second. Suddenly there was a loud horn and an extremely bright light coming towards them! Robert tried to swerve over into a ditch but the eighteen wheeler collided with the car before he had a chance to. Inside the car there was silence, however no one was killed. Robert, having seen so many movies in his lifetime where cars exploded, desperately tore away at his seat belt. "Are you okay, honey?" Leanne asked in pain. "We've got to get out of here!" Robert screamed. Leanne reached a bloody hand over to grab him but he pulled away at the seat belt and when feeling her hand brushed it off of him aggressively. "Lemme out of here!" he screamed and Leanne grew afraid. In the back seat Susan was passing in and out of consciousness. She heard Robert screaming and pounding away at everything around him in desperation. She heard Leanne crying helplessly. She heard Kevin's groaning and her own shallow breathing. Then she felt a familiar hand grasp her own. It was Kevin's hand. "I love you" he whispered between heavy breaths. It was the first time he'd said this to Susan in months but somehow she knew he meant it and was glad he was different from Robert after all. For Robert, he'd said his millionth "I love you" but Kevin's "I love you" felt like one in a million.
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